Oh. The Humanity.

                                                         


Have you ever wished there was a way of capturing the past (and The Past) in a hologram and replaying it as it really was?

Not just so you could see who really took the garbage out last bin-day. But so we could see how things really were, as opposed to how generations of male scholars have moulded it?

Have you ever yearned for a machine which could see into the earth as underwater cameras do?

Have you ever speculated about a device which would transfer your thoughts to a manuscript page without your having to voice or write them?

Well tough titty to anyone who ever has had any of these kinds of thoughts, because if you dream any of these dreams chances are most of you are engaged in the Humanities . And it's a wonderful time to be working in the Humanities, because with the rise of modern technology, sharing our dreams has led to advances which benefit society in all sectors.

But as from Saturday 21st January we are all persona non grata in the US of A - though that puts us with a lot of really nice people - while hanging on by the skin of our teeth in the UK.

However strategies  - inviting public participation/donation; engaging in cross-discipline sharing; more engagement with the public; releasing more and more documents into the public domain - have evolved rapidly in the UK, which manages to retain a positive & integrated image within our culture of what the Humanities are; despite our growing marginalisation within Government funding calculations.

Modern American culture rests on different underpinnings to ours which, naturally,  causes divergent understandings of common concepts. As illustrated by the fact that the word 'skillet' brings to my mind and understanding, a solid-bottomed pan. But which to an American would indicate any kind of frying pan.

 I had always thought that "The Humanities", "Humanist" and "Humanism" were interpreted in the same way all over the world.  The concept has been around long enough to create a universal meaning, surely?  One which was fixed before the USA was colonised?

But, unlike our more venerable cultures, not many in the general American population have a firm grip on what, exactly the Humanities are. To be fair, the times have not exactly been ones for quiet contemplation and study until recently in American history.  What with forging out a new country an' all. The general population had no time, nor opportunity, for arts or philosophy. They had much less time for teaching children the knowledge of that which would not be useful - if not utilitarian - to forge ahead in the land of opportunity.

Until WW2 huge numbers of the population had nothing but the most basic of education, and once again, the Humanities were not even optional extras.

 Even though aware of the different histories/cultures of our former colonies, amazingly, it has only been within the last three or four months that I've learnt that the word 'humanist' means something completely different to many Americans. That it is, in fact, one of the Pavlovian triggers to hate-speech, because Humanism is a Very Bad Thing. Bigly.

I've since discovered sites all over the 'net explaining, unpacking and discussing the Humanities from this newly-evolved POV. Fortunately, it seems that the concept of The Humanities being a Very Bad Thing is not upheld outside of a minority sector. Unremarkably really, a quick Google search reveals that not many other people equate a humanist with the anti-Christ.

Now I'm not being judgemental about this arlt-right sect, I'm being pragmatic - and expressing  it simplistically. Which is the only way in which I can comprehend how a world-leader can effectively demonise the Humanities. And how a small minority of people in a first-world country could find it feasible, ethical, productive or acceptable, to simply excise an entire facet of a society? That's what cutting all aid or financing to the Humanities has done. It sends a message that all that which enables human beings to create and dream and develop critical faculties; that has pushed civillisations forwards since the beginning of our time;  all that defines cultural capital must be the first things to disappear.

'Humanism', however, is merely one of a number of words and concepts this same group of people has corrupted in an insular, Boys' Own kind of code-language. This leaves the rest of us adrift in a maelstrom: where the need to understand familiar concepts in unfamiliar ways leaves one feeling as though experiencing some sort of shifted reality: - one where all the familiar landmarks have morphed into different shapes.

Further mind-warping takes place with other popular concepts: - within this sect, for example, a 'Socialist' is a Commie. We, in Britain, are, it appears, committed Communists - every man-jack of us and all the women too. Our socialist government is not trustworthy as it's unclear how far our communist roots stretch. Commies are of course, ALL the anti-Christ

'Misogynist' in this lexicon is a word made up by 'strident' feminists (yeah 'feminist' comes, by default, with the adjective 'strident', or the adjectival clause 'man-hating'.)who blaspheme against the word of God and the Rules of Nature - both of which set out clearly that man is a superior being. (Ergo adherents to the sect are super-superior. And the sect leader is the most super-super-superior of all.)

An 'Atheist' is a tool of satan, whose goal in life is them to lure good American Christians to hell. They are also rapists and killers who have no concept of right and wrong. But who will (na-na-na-naaa-na) Go to Hell!

 'Lefties' refer to every person in the world who does not ascribe to the sects teaching. The twist is that every single one of these Lefties/Socialists/Communists - no matter their nationality - is also conflated with the purely American political party The Democrats.

Oh - and adverbs are extraneous blots upon the escutcheon of the English language.

Now, I found all this research interesting, and it did indeed explain a lot of the trolling I'd seen around. But it never occurred to me for a moment that the uncouth buffoon running for Pres wouldn't be laughed off the stage. Or end up in the State Penitentiary.

And so it wasn't until shamefully recently that I realised that Drumph himself was now the High Pooh-Bah of this particular sect!

My heart seemed to have stopped for a few seconds after I read yesterday that the leader (Father?) of a country,with one ignorant scrawl,  had knowingly deprived every man, woman & child of their heritage, along with all access to the tools to 'make things great'.

But then I realised that this kind of action required more thinking than someone with the attention-span of an anopheles mosquito could sustain.  And of course Crumph would be signing blind. That's why he has surrounded himself with a group of people who, apparently, are the smartest (grown-up talk: = intelligent) ever. Ever! In the whole wide world or even the 5,000 year old history of the whole universe.

I expect the scenario went like this: -

"Huh?" the suave leader would have questioned when he finally got a few genuine papers on his desk. A change of set from the piles of blank paper he had, he reported, been 'studying' for days. And which was probably true.


"Humanities. It's all that Leftie shit. For fags and man-hating feminists. (leaning forward to capture The Leaders attention in the brief 5 second span available) "BAD!."  one of the most intelligent aides in the whole wide world would have briefly informed him.

"Oh. BAD!" A sweep of his pen. Then: - "Oh hey: - Ya think that woman...the one with the money?.....play golf with her Dad?...what the hell's the dumb twat's name?"

"Hmm? Could be anyone." one of the most intelligent men, evah, says.

"No! You guys gave her Education! Said it was a woman's job! Said she couldn't do any harm with a bunch of kids to play with: THAT fucken' one!" He's gone red in the face,so a make-up artist darts forward with orange double-duty stage make-up to restore his dignity.

"Yeah. Anyway: - that bitch? She know about this Humanities thing?"

"What; about the Humanities being the tool of the Left that will destroy our country and turn us into a banana republic so the whole world will laugh at you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Make sure she knows. Tell her it's BAD!  I mean, what does she know - she's a woman, right? Gotta let her know what's nice and what's BAD!"

"Uh, well right now she's demonstrating how abso-fucken-lutely unsuited she is for that job. In front of the whole world. We'll tell her afterwards."

Trump throws down the horrid, nasty pen and sits back with a smile, absent-mindedly fondling himself in the absence of any women but the tea-lady, who is long past puberty. One day in and he's sent the country back - not merely to the 'fifties, but way, way, further! He's hit the Dark Ages goddamit! How far back is that? Pretty far I bet. Before Truman, even. No-one's EVER done that before. On Day One folks. Day One!

In the background the voices of a million women are cheering him.

Oh yeah.  My heart started working again btw.  And, in common with Sir Patrick Spense, I laughed both loud and free.

Because, dunno about all the good people of America, but one of MY dreams has come true.

We're living in Disc World people! No need to panic: - at least if we get lost there's heaps of instruction books?